you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
