Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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