hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
