If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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