she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
