I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
