His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I'm really busy with my period
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