I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize