I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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