hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
