Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize