Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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