I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
