woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
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