I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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