This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
