Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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