zippers are such a cool invention
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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