idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
