i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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