he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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