okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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