A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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