I could have mohawked her pubes.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
