i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
