i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
