he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
