I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
There r osticjed everywhere
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Randomize
