My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
