Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
