Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
