is your mom at the bar?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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