Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Randomize
