im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
