Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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