All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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