My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
