Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
