no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
