Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
