Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
