i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
