I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize