I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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