Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
