I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize