We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
