Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
