that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
