I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
