is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
