well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
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