make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
