lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
