He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
