You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
