Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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